Thursday, January 10, 2013

How to tell if a Roidhead is a Hall of Famer

If there's one thing professional, very serious baseball writers do best, it's throw hissy fits when shit just doesn't go their way.  So when the 2013 Hall of Fame ballot came up for debate, all these morons did was bitch and moan about how steroids ruined the previous era of baseball -- which stands in stark contrast to their willingness to take money to glorify baseball and ignore steroids during the mid-90s -- and instead of developing some sort of system to judge suspected cheaters, they just continued to piss and moan.

Since baseball writers have never actually created anything, this doesn't surprise me.

This problem is relatively easy to solve.  Use HOF standards of yesteryear and find a way to adjust the numbers of suspected PED users to see if they would have made it to the Hallf regardless of drugs.  Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds, under those standards, would be (and perhaps should have been), first ballot candidates.  But what about Mark McGwire?

McGwire was always a power threat, slugging 49 homers in his rookie season, but his numbers really exploded in the mid-90s, and he ended up with 583 homeruns and a .263 average.  Let's assume he started 'roiding up in 1995.  Before 1995, when you take the homerun totals from McGwire's season when he had over 450 at-bats, that's six seasons and an average of 36 homeruns.  Then let's assume that from his peak period, 1995 - 1999, he hit 36 homeruns during each of those seasons because that's fair.  McGwire hit 284 homers in that 5 year time span, but since 36 * 5 = 180, let's say he shoulc have hit 180 homers.  284 - 180 = 104, so let's remove 104 homers from his career mark.

That would give McGwire just 479 homeruns over his career.  His career batting average would probably dip below .250, too.

Would you put a .250 hitter with 479 homeruns in the Hall of Fame?  Of course not.  Therefore, McGwire shouldn't be considered worthy of enshirement since the only reason he has HOF-worthy numbers are because of steroids.

There, we have a formula to determine what candidates are worthy. Wasn't that fucking easy?  Now maybe the professional baseball writers can stop bitching, get over their smug satisfaction over their perceptions of their own intelligence, and fucking do something for once.

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